Rejection

Rejection is hard. I've always had a fear of rejection that has held me back from doing a lot of things in life. Even something as simple as returning a defective product or saying hi to someone for fear that they won't remember me. But wow, as bad as rejection is in my own life, seeing your child be rejected in one form or another is heart wrenching. From a dirty look from a little girl or a insensitive comment by someone on the internet, it hurts so much more when its directed toward your child.

Last night we got a letter in the mail informing us that Kaelyn was not accepted to the school we have been hoping to send her to since she was a newborn. The school that we were willing to drive her 45 minutes to and from, four days a week because it seemed that good, like it would be such a great fit for her and the needs she has. The school that we were willing to sacrifice and pay a significant amount of money for her tuition because it would help her reach her full potential. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I cried and I cried hard. My heart hurts, it hurts for my little girl. I'm her mom, its my job to fight for her, to get her the best this life has to offer. I would walk across fire for her, I would give up everything for her, but I can't change this. I can't march in there and demand that they accept her. So what now, what do we do?

We move forward. We trust that we have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of us and our situation. That He wants the best for Kaelyn and He will make it happen. This isn't the first time that my plans didn't come to fruition, and in every situation things worked out far better than I could have ever imagined. I'm hopeful that I will read this post sometime in the future, look back on how things turn out and see my Saviors hand in it all. That I see once again that His plan was far greater than my own. Mid breakdown last night my little girl crawled over to me and gave me a big kiss on the forehead. Though she doesn't speak I heard her say in her own little way, "Don't cry mama, its going to be okay"

But tonight it still hurts...